WORKING
MOTHERS
Families are under tremendous pressure today from
many quarters. Because the institution of the home was
created by God, we can logically expect Satan to oppose
and frustrate its success however he can. Satan is well
aware that strong, stable homes are the progenitors of
strong, stable children who will leave their home to
reproduce the same vital faith in Christ and godly
character in which they were trained. Such soldiers of the
cross do not just accidentally appear on the scene. They
are the normal, expected fruit of godly, well-ordered
families where each family member has been obedient
to his or her God-given responsibilities.
Bitter Tears
I have met numerous gray-headed folks who have been
agonizing over their wayward children. Some have asked
prayer for a son who is incarcerated for his crimes, others
have children who are on their second, third, or fourth
marriage. Most are not a regular part of a fundamental,
separatist church. Parents weep bitter tears as they see
their rebellious sons and daughters spurn their faith in
Christ and accept the shallow, sensual values of the age
in which we live. Their agony is exacerbated when
grandchildren are born for they know they will be a worse
child of Hell than their parents as they quickly adopt the
hedonistic, rebellious, self-centered life-style of their
mother and father.
Almost everyone of these broken hearted parents has
related to me that they made serious mistakes in
parenting and if they had it to do over, they would radically
alter how they raised their families.
What Would Be Different?
Recognizing the relatively short time a child is in the
home, they would have put stress on teaching obedience,
self control, personal responsibility, and character
training. They would have taught them to work and would
have diligently used the rod and reproof during the whole
process of child training. They would have chosen their
children's friends and scrupulously kept them away from
wrong influences, both in terms of other youngsters and
activities. Because they love them, they would have
purged their house of every television set. They would
have insisted on regular family altar, Bible reading, prayer,
and faithful church attendance. They would not have
allowed wrong music or clothing, nor would they have
allowed their children to participate in other "fads" that
were popular.
Because all of the above takes a full-time parent, these
same grieving parents are often heard to say in their
evaluation of what went wrong in their home, ". . . and
we would have kept Mom at home."
Single Parent Homes
Because of the tragedy of divorce, multitudes of homes
are now single-parent families. Obviously, that parent
must work to support her injured little flock and has no
choice but to place her children in the care of others while
she is away on the job. This frustrating situation defies
easy solutions except in those cases where reconciliation
is still possible between the estranged parents.
Two-Parent Homes
But what of the homes where both parents are still
married, but both partners, because of the pressure of
installment debt, materialistic life-style, "keeping up with
the Joneses," and other factors have gone into the labor
market. In such cases, the child or children either become
"latch-key children" or are placed in the custody and care
of a hireling to care for them who in most cases cannot
and will not have the dedication to the task of parenting
that the child's natural mother would have had.
The Latch-Key Child
Consider the national tragedy and disgrace of the
"latch-key child". They come home from school, turn the
key in the door and enter into an empty house. Oh, there
may be a dog, cat, or parakeet within, but these are pitiful
substitutes for a mother greeting her child.
I may be sitting and reading in our living room and hear
one of my boys come in the house after a prolonged
absence. After a few moments of greeting and conversation
with me, what is the first question that little lad will ask?
Yes, "where is Mom?"; "where is my mother?"; "I want to
see my mother," is the natural cry of any youngster after
any absence from home for school, play, etc.
But for millions of forlorn, dejected little hearts, they
need not ask that question, because they know Mom is
down at the office or factory, sometimes on shifts where
interaction between her and her babies is very limited
indeed.
Problems Involved In Leaving Home
It is not accidental or coincidental that a godly woman
is "chaste" (Titus 2:5). Look at the next item she is to be
taught by a godly older woman, to be a "keeper at home"
(Titus 2:5). Leaving the relative security and safety of a
home exposes a woman to all manner of temptations,
hurtful lusts and snares in the office, plant, factory, or other
work place. Many married women have had their heads and
hearts turned by the deceitful flatteries of an adulterous
man in her work situation. As she compares her husband
to the attractive and sensitive man who keeps calling
attention to her on the job, her loyalties and marriage vows
are put under stress, and many married women succumb
to adultery in their hearts or in actual deed.
Tension is Produced
A woman cast into a breadwinning role also is under
temptation to exercise the prerogatives of being a
provider; making decisions and taking leadership in the
home. Whereas God intended for a wife to be dependent
on her husband for provision of the family's needs, many
modern women have no such dependence. Many earn as
much or even more than their husbands. Those situations
again place stress on marriages and culminate in conflict
over how family resources are to be spent, decision
making, and leadership.
Frustrations of the Working Mother
Because most women have a natural "nesting" drive
deep within their breast, being in the work place is a
constant source of frustration for her. She knows her
children need their mother full-time. She knows she
cannot do justice to a marriage, house and children as
a homemaker and to a job at the same time. How can she
clean and make her house beautiful when she is too tired
to do these things after her 40 hours a week in the work
place? How can she effectively kiss away little tears, care
for a fevered brow, bandage a scraped knee, give spiritual
counsel, character training, and consistent, timely
discipline when she only sees her children in small
segments of time allowed by her job? How can she cook,
sew, clean, and plan for her family when she is down at
the office and caught in rush hour traffic? How can she
properly respond to her husband and meet his needs when
she is overly tired, tense, frustrated over her situation and
even resentful?
The Demands of a Homemaker
When Paul wrote the phrase "keeper at home" in Titus
2:5, it came from two words: "home" and "work." The
godly woman is not only home where she belongs and
desires to be, she is working! She is not stretched out
on the sofa watching soaps and popping chocolates into
her mouth. There will not be cobwebs in her house that
are life-threatening, dust balls as big as rodents, green
hairy stuff growing in her refrigerator, or piles of unwashed
clothing, dishes, and unmended clothes like Mt. Everest!
Being a wife, mother, and homemaker is a full-time,
creative, demanding, fulfilling and tiring job.
Count the Cost!
Mom, what have you gained even if you obtain nice
clothes, an expensive car, beautiful house, material
possessions, prestige, notoriety, and even authority on the
job while your children are strangers to you? How can you
enjoy the "good life" when your presence at home would
have prevented all the wrong friends your children now
refuse to relinquish? How can you have peace within when
a mother's supervision would have prevented
experimentation with drugs, alcohol, tobacco, and even
immorality? Position, authority, salary, fringe benefits and
a host of other job-related "blessings" pale in significance
if your marriage is in serious trouble and there seem to be
barriers between you and your husband because of tight
schedules, rare intimate communication, and because your
fulfillment has come from outside your home.
Small wonder many children and young people forge
such strong loyalties to peers even though they are an
adverse influence on them. In the absence of a full-time
mother, a child will naturally seek guidance,
companionship and fulfillment from another source.
Loyalties that should have been cemented with his
parents and family are instead farmed out to evil-
charactered peers readily provided by a Satanically-
dominated world.
Mom, your husband needs you, another woman should
not be meeting his needs. Your children need you, not a
surrogate hireling. You cannot be replaced by another.
God has called you to be a "keeper at home", not to stunt
your creativity or imprison you in an unfulfilling,
demeaning role, but because you have been called to the
high and noble office of a homemaker; a responsibility
with unmeasureable rewards, heavy demands, great
fulfillment, and inestimable blessing for you, your
husband, and your children.by Ronald E. Williams, Director
Hephzibah House
508 School St., Winona Lake, IN 46590
Reprints may be obtained from Hephzibah House
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