Ten Biblical Characteristics of Friendship TEXT: Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
"(9)Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. (10)For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up."INTRODUCTION:
-- Nothing is more DELIGHTFUL in this world than a TRUE FRIEND, that is wise and GOOD, that KINDLY receives and returns our AFFECTION, and is FAITHFUL to us in all our true INTERESTS.
-- Although we may have many brothers and sisters in the kingdom of God, only a few of us have CLOSE PERSONAL FRIENDS.
-- Today, I want to speak about 10 BIBLICAL CHARACTERISTICS of FRIENDSHIP.
-- Strengthen and examine your friendship in the light of the Word of God.
Simply put it under His loving instruction.1. THERE ARE ONLY A FEW CLOSE FRIENDS
A. (Proverbs 18:24) "A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother." We live in a covenant with all believers in the [kingdom of God], but with some we are particularly tied together thru the Holy Spirit. B. Look at Jesus' example: He has His TWELVE, His THREE - Peter, James & John - and His ONE: John. This is not exclusion but is the only way to PRACTISE FRIENDSHIP PROPERLY.2. A FRIEND GIVES HIS LIFE
A. (John 15:13) "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." [How totally foreign to the world we live in.] 'To lay down one's life' also means THE READINESS TO PUT ONESELF BACK TO SERVE THE OTHER PERSON, instead of putting the other one back to serve one's self. It is THE READINESS TO TAKE THE NEEDS OF THE FRIEND MORE SERIOUSLY than your own. B. Think of John the Baptist: "(29)He that hath the bride is the bridegroom: but the friend of the bridegroom, which standeth and heareth him, rejoiceth greatly because of the bridegroom's voice: this my joy therefore is fulfilled. (30)He must increase, but I must decrease." (John 3:29-30)3. A FRIEND KNOWS YOU DEEPLY
A. (John 15:15) "Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you." [Not servants...but...friends] A friend is SOMEONE IN FRONT OF WHOM YOU CAN BE TOTALLY SURE, take off your mask, and SLOWLY GET CLOSER TO THEM - BE YOUR OWN SELF. This TAKES TIME and is also RISKY.4. A FRIEND LOVES WITHOUT CONDITIONS
A. (Proverbs 17:17) "A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." [requirements] [No strings attached. No qualifications, existing circumstances, restrictions]5. A FRIEND GIVES YOU GOOD ADVICE
A. (Proverbs 27:9) "Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man's friend by hearty counsel." Another characteristic of a friend, is to hear the voice of God with you: 'I have not got a clear guideline for you in this matter, so therefore let us fast and pray together about this.'6. A FRIEND SPEAKS THE TRUTH IN LOVE
A. (Proverbs 27:6) "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful." The Bible tells us to "walk in the light" to have real "fellowship" with each other (I John 1:7). We ALL NEED somebody with enough LOVE for us to tell us the TRUTH about ourselves. Not only what we WANT TO HEAR, but also what we SHOULD HEAR as well. "But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin." (I John 1:7)7. A FRIEND ENCOURAGES YOU
A. (Job 6:14) "To him that is afflicted pity should be shewed from his friend; but he forsaketh the fear of the Almighty." Job NEEDED MORE than what his own wife gave him: "curse God, and die." Nice sympathy, wasn't it? We ALL NEED ENCOURAGEMENT, confirmation and SUPPORT in our Christian lives.8. A FRIEND ALSO DOES NOT FEAR A CLASH WITH YOU
A. (Proverbs 27:17) "Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend." [clash = conflict, hostile encounter] CLASHES cannot be avoided in such CLOSE RELATIONSHIPS. B. The DURABILITY of a FRIENDSHIP will be TESTED; it will be SEEN IF it is REALLY WELDED TOGETHER WITH the LOVE OF CHRIST. We then have the CHOICE of either 1. DRAWING BACK FROM BEING OFFENDED, or 2. Of REBUKING that FRIEND, or 3. Of SOLVING the CONFLICT IN LOVE.9. A FRIEND IS DELICATE
A. (Proverbs 26:18-19) "(18)As a mad man who casteth firebrands, arrows, and death, (19)So is the man that deceiveth his neighbour, and saith, Am not I in sport?" [firebrands = flames, sparks deceiveth = mislead, delude, dupe, hood wink, fool] B. To put it simply, a FRIEND is AWARE of your SENSITIVE areas. They REFRAIN from SARCASM, MEAN JOKES and EXPOSURES.10. A FRIEND IS LOYAL
A. (Proverbs 16:28b) "A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends." [chief friends = best friends] B. (Proverbs 17:9b) "He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends." [very friends = true friends] In the hour of BETRAYAL, with RUMOURS and ACCUSATIONS, it will be OBVIOUS who REALLY STANDS BY US.CONCLUSION:
-- Would you like to HAVE FRIENDS who SHOW these CHARACTERISTICS? -- Then ask the Holy Spirit to WRITE THEM INto YOUR own HEART, and START to PRACTISE them. -- And when you try this, remember The Friend (the Lord Jesus Christ) who sticks closer to you than anybody else. -- Consider the GOLDEN RULE for Christians: (Matthew 7:12) "Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets."